Wii vs. Move vs. Kinect: We all lose.
With the Wii selling faster than the Bible, and with Microsoft and Sony trying their hardest to duplicate its success, it’s now a perfect time to compare the Big Three’s motion control peripherals. With a generation headed in a new buttonless direction, “which is the best” is starting to become the only big question.
But this battle is ultimately a futile one for us hardcore gamers. The Wii, Move, and Kinect all lean towards the casual far more than they do towards those who care about developers, publishers, and gaming at large. But there are inklings of hope offered by each to hold on to, and that’s worth exploring.
Hardware
Wii: While the Wiimote can only perform waggle controls that only a retard could get any satisfaction from, the Wiimote Plus does somewhat do its job. Sometimes, the WMP chooses not to work, but for the most part, it’s solid. Hell, it actually performs what we expect it to do (unlike its overhyped predecessor).
3 out 5 Waggles
Move: While the Move’s design is visually revolting, resembling some kind of sex toy designed for an ape working in the prostitution business, its motion tracking capabilities do surpass the capabilities of the Wii’s countless peripherals combined. Playing Move at E3 felt fluid, mixing the Playstation’s EyeToy with the Move Controller’s in a way I could kind of respect. I don’t want to say it blew me away, but it was quite impressive and felt very natural.
4 out of 5 Gabe Newell Appearances
Kinect: From a hardware perspective, Kinect was the most impressive of the three devices offered by the big three. It picked up all my motions, felt extremely simple to use, and flipping through menus without a controller felt great. However, Kinect’s voice recognition did nothing for me. Sure, lisp girl at the Microsoft conference could get the thing to shut off when she spoke really slow, but what happens when you’re just talking like a normal human being? Also, the lack of having a controller doesn’t sound as awesome as everyone makes it out to be. Problem number one: how the hell can I move my character forward while standing in place? Am I going to have to continuously wave my hands behind my hips like I’m clearing the stench from a fart? Still, the device’s ability to track a full range of motions accurately was enough for me to forcibly give Kinect some credit.
4 out of 5 Justin Bieber-Hating Black Dudes
Software (The Games)
Wii: Going into yesterday, I would be stretching hard if I gave the Wii a three in this category (in fact, I wouldn’t). But Nintendo brought their best conference ever yesterday. I knew as soon as I saw Reggie’s smirky face that Nintendo was going to have a great conference. “New Zelda game? Not a problem, we’ll show it first. You want some Donkey Kong perhaps? We’ll get to that later. In the meantime, here’s some Kirby. Oh? Kid Icarus you ask? Here’s a trailer.” The Wii now has enough content to truly get excited for, all of which is either taking advantage of the Wiimote or the Wiimote Plus. Not to mention, the Wii still appeals the most to that stupid casual gaming demographic (whatever that’s worth).
But Nintendo’s belief that online game doesn’t matter makes me want to punch walls with my face. Perfect score not in reach.
4 out of 5 Reggie Punches to the Face
Move: I can’t completely rip the Move’s library due to how young it is, and promised support with sports games, Killzone, and Socom is something to look forward to. But the booths Sony made available for E3 were flat out embarrassing. When the best game you have to show for the device that is supposed to “Change Everything” is “SHOOT,” then clearly you’ve should reassessed your marketing campaign. Or get your own head out of your ass.
2 out of 5 Awkward Kaz Hirai Keynote Speeches
Kinect: Kinect currently has as much gaming content for the hardcore gamer as does a Chuckie Cheese. Sure, a Star Wars game might be fun, but it’s also on-rails, and the manner in which you must move your character forward just wreaks of hardware limitations. As for the rest of the Kinect’s software lineup, Microsoft is forcing us to put up with Nintendo rip-offs, and only time will tell if that’s the extent of Kinect’s potential. Nonetheless, Your Shape: Fitness Evolved and Harmonix’s Dance Central looked and worked better than anything Sony had to show (albeit them both being very casual in nature).
It’s a sad, sad day in the gaming world when Nintendo is showcasing off more hardcore titles than Sony and Microsoft combined (then multiplied by three).
2 out of 5 Cliffy B Unicorn Shirts
Potential for the Hardcore
Wii: Wiimote Plus appeals far more to the hardcore than the casual, and should get rid of the idiotic waggle controls that piss everyone with a brain off. While there are no MMORPGs or shooters on the Wii to get excited about, Donkey Kong, Kirby, Zelda, Mario, and Metroid are all games designed for the player who at least knows what Activision is. The Wii now has a decent amount of hardcore games coming, and with games like the Galaxy series, Brawl, and Metroid already on the system, Nintendo is no longer treating the hardcore gamer as just some whining afterthought.
3 out of 5 Reggie Smashes
Move: While the Move doesn’t really have a hardcore application to get anyone excited, it would be unfair to not admit that it does have potential. It gives you an analogue stick, some true 1:1 motion, and it includes no wires between the two controls making a very fluid experience. It’s just a matter of whether or not developers care enough about the Move’s few advantages over the Wii to produce games for it. At E3, Sony showed off only crappy (and boy, do I mean crappy) casual games with Move support, leaving the hardcore gamer completely empty. The potential for a true hardcore experience is there, but it doesn’t look like Sony is putting any emphasis on that fact.
3.5 out of 5 Jaffe Tirades
Kinect: Oh man, Microsoft. How you blew this.
The most hardcore Kinect game Microsoft showcased was some Star Wars title that looked unbelievably forced (pun intended). Past all the hype, Kinect won’t ever be able to work for the hardcore gamer because it has one fatal flaw: no controller. That means you can’t move forward unless you run in place. Hardcore gamers don’t want that. Scratch that, no one wants that. You come home to play video games after a long day of work to relax and kick off steam, not to get a workout. With no hardcore games being shown or discussed, and only stupid mini-games to play, Microsoft got the message across: “Kinect is not for you, the hardcore gamer. It’s for the dumb, ignorant, mass of people that we can soak the most money from.”
Too bad they forgot that the Wii is already doing that, but better.
1 out of 5 Don Mattrick Hairdos
So, here’s the final standings:
Wii: 10
Move: 9.5
Kinect: 7
All of these motion devices have their pluses and minuses. In the end, the Wii comes out of E3 leading the pack, while the Move teeters just below due to its stunning lack of content. Kinect, while the most impressive technically, gave me the least out of all three motion controllers, with it appearing as the most gimmicky. The Kinect’s execution just isn’t there, and if it is, then then its maximum potential is nothing to do flips over.
In one sense, all three of these controllers are gimmicks, but the big three made something apparent to all of us: these gimmicks are here to stay. Which implies that no matter which one of these three wins, we all in some way lose. D-Pads be damned.
About the Author
Steve Bogda
Steve is the primary owner of The DamnLag. He currently attends New York University, where he studies Film, History and Politics. When he is not writing about Nintendo, Steve runs the day to day operations of The DamnLag, as its Editor-in-Chief.
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