For most of my childhood, video games did not appeal to me. I had the perspective of a typical kid who stayed outdoors as much as he possibly could. Why play Tony Hawk when I can go outside and actually ride a skateboard? To my young self, video games were not what life was about; they were just simulations of it.

Then I played Ocarina of Time. After that, Super Mario 64 quickly followed by Star Fox, Donkey Kong, Pokemon, and Kirby. Then a friend gave me a SNES, and I played Super Metroid, A Link to the Past, and the Super Mario RPG. By the time I was a teenager, you’d be hard pressed to find a Nintendo game I hadn’t played. Nintendo revealed to me all that the medium could do; ranging from large, lasting adventures, to short, but incredibly addicting platformers. In many ways, Nintendo is the reason why I love video games. Hell, they’re the reason why DAMNLAG even exists.

But that doesn’t mean I have unconditional love for Nintendo. In fact, I can’t even think of a relationship in my life that has more ups and downs than the one I have with Nintendo. One day I can write about the elegant beauty and artistry that Nintendo presents in the industry, and then the next I’ll be listing reasons why the company can go fuck themselves with an egg beater. In the ass.

So, here is an expose into my ambivalent relationship with Nintendo, and why I love and hate them at the same time.

LOVE: The strive for innovation.

As a progressive in all forms of belief (ranging from politics to sports,) innovation is what keeps me coming back to the gaming industry. Yesterday is ancient history, and I want tomorrow’s mystery to be answered today. I want to know what the games of the future will be like, and how they will further immerse me into the world of video games. The new and risky ventures in this industry are what get me excited. I don’t give a fuck what four digit number your HDTV resolution is or how much more RAM the next generation of consoles will have compared to this one. I want to be able to be inundated by change and become a part of it. When the previous norm has been proven successful, changing paths is not something most gaming companies undertake.

But that’s what Nintendo does. You may hate everything about the Wii, but releasing the first motion-based video game system with a name that can be confused with a man’s genitals takes buffallo-sized balls. Sure, not all the innovations worked out, and some were "shoes on hands" retarded (powers gloves, finger sensors, 64DD.) Their yearning to make a global impact with their games, however, not only keeps Nintendo successful, but also makes them so damn appealing to a gamer like me.

HATE: The catering to the casual audience.

I have no problem with Nintendo opening up it’s arms and trying to make gaming more mainstream than it already is. I genuinely enjoy playing Wii Sports with my little sister. But issues materalized when Nintendo began pandering to old people and small children rather than the gaming audience who got them to where they are now. When Miyamoto is working on complete dogshit like Wii Music instead of Pikmin 3, I’m going to get pissed. There is a large 3-80 crowd who wants a system to be played more than once every couple of months. There are no hardcore gamers who have the Wii as their main system of gaming, and I’m included in that demographic.

LOVE: Nintendo keeps their marquee franchises fresh after long periods of time.

Nintendo has been criticized for its belief that if you beat a dead horse enough times with pogo stick, eventually it will twitch and show some signs of life. While there is no denying that Nintendo relies heavily on its trusted franchises for consistent revenue, by no means are these franchises dead horses. That’s because Nintendo doesn’t let these franchises die, they bring new life to them.

Super Mario Galaxy has completely different feel than Super Mario 64, and Super Mario 64 feels nothing like the two-dimensional games before it. Zelda is a franchise that sticks heavily to a rooted formula, but the subtle changes Nintendo presents with each iteration in the series keeps gamers coming back. Nintendo’s original formulas are genius, but its their constant tinkering of these formulas that doesn’t get enough credit. Keeping franchises incredibly successful for twenty plus years isn’t easy. Just ask Sega.

HATE: Nintendo lets other franchises die for long periods of time.

Can I please get a new fucking Star Fox game?

Nintendo has sunk into this funk where they have only three marquee franchises: Mario, Zelda, and Metroid. While I won’t complain anytime a new game in either of those three franchises is announced, I sure as hell will get pissed when an E3 comes and goes and there is no mention of  Kirby, Donkey Kong, Pikmin, or F-Zero. Shit, Mother 3 is still in Japanese.

But it’s not like Nintendo has always been Mario/Zelda/Metroid-centric. Let’s not forget how Samus didn’t make a single appearance on the N64 outside of a pinball machine, or how Mario had one major release on the GameCube. No, this is just typical Nintendo; leaving fans in the dark for years.

LOVE: Shigeru Miyamoto.

If you can’t appreciate all that Miyamoto has done for the video game industry, then you’re a dunce. It’s rare you find someone with such passion for his job.

HATE: Their ignorance to their most passionate fans.

Here is a list of quotes from head Nintendo executives (past and present) regarding their fans’ wants:

"…the games market doesn’t need better hardware."

"I have been saying this for some time, but customers are not interested in grand games with higher-quality graphics and sound and epic stories. Only people who do not know the videogame business would advocate the release of next-generation machines when people are not interested in cutting-edge technologies."

Nintendo acts like they really know what gamers want, and what gamers tell them they want are just hallucinations we conjured up while talking to ourselves in the dark corners of our room.  When it comes to working with their hardcore fanbase, Nintendo falls flatter than Keira Knightley’s rack. How many lists were made of most wanted characters for Brawl? How many were given a proper look? Zero. Then there are the times when Nintendo goes into what can only be called as a "Not Giving A Fuck" phases. These usually take place when Nintendo is too busy counting their money (2006-2008) or when they have nothing really to talk about (the entire last half of the Gamecube’s existence.)

LOVE: The Music.

Koji Kondo has had as much impact on my gaming philosophy as Miyamoto. When I played Ocarina of Time, I felt more immersed by the game’s roaring soundtrack than I did the actual game. Kondo’s work is spread throughout Nintendo’s library of games. Nearly ever major Nintendo theme that you can hum from memory came from that man’s mind. It’s hard to describe the effect music has on you during games; but a strong soundtrack can elevate a video game from being entertainment to a modernist form of art. Nintendo, thanks to Mr. Kondo’s work, is the master of video game music.

HATE: Their approach to online gaming.

It’s incredible just how long it’s been since Xbox LIVE has come out, and Nintendo has still yet to even enter the same stratosphere as Microsoft in the field of online gaming. Anyone with semi-functioning brain can see how Friend Codes suck, but the complaints don’t end there with Nintendo. Server lag, connection drop outs, and a lack of communication (no keyboards or headsets) creates a very sterile online world. Where the hell is the incentive to go online to play with number 3231450? Playing any Wii game online is an incredibly lackluster experience. The whole point of online gaming is to add a human element to the game you’re playing, yet Nintendo designs their online experiences to be as sterile as possible. It doesn’t matter really, because as Satoru Iwata told us: "Gamer’s don’t really want online games."

Wrong, Mr. Iwata. I do; I really fucking do.

LOVE: Their ability to create memories.
Nintendo has produced so many memories that I will never lose from my life. I’ll never forget where I was when Darmani the Goron died in Majora’s Mask, or the all-nights I spent paying Super Smash Bros. with friends. It is these distinct memories from the past that keep me looking towards the future, and keeps me wanting to play more games. I want more experiences I’ll carry to my grave. Nintendo always delivers on that front. I will never be able to experience the rush of defeating Ganon for the first time, but who knows what final bosses I’ll experience next. It’s the nostalgia that Nintendo games create that is truly lasting.

In the end, it’s the memories that keep me coming back to Nintendo. And as long as I keep getting them on a semi-consistant basis, the periods of resentment are just bearable enough to keep my passion for Nintendo ignited.

This doesn’t change the fact that they still need to get their shit together.