The Video Game Industry’s Sequelitis: A Doctor’s Diagnosis
Maybe it’s just me, or it might be the booze talking, but the video game industry has caught a major case of sequelitis. I think it may have happened during one of the many crappy video game movies (Hollywood called them “nights of passion” I think), but according to my test results, it’s fairly serious. The trend towards rehashing, reinventing, or reliving existing properties and franchises is overshadowing any inclination toward originality. And no, I’m not telling you how I run my tests. A lady never tells.
Let me throw a disclaimer in here: I don’t play sports games, so I won’t be bringing them up. I recognize the logic behind putting out a different game for a new season. That’s not where my disdain is pointed. So put your bats down, Madden fans.
Patient #1. I’ll start of with one of my favorite series: Silent Hill. I love these games. Well, most of them, anyway. To me, Team Silent had the magic touch, and then they split up to work on separate projects. Not wanting to let their cash cow die with dignity, we were given 0rigins and Homecoming. While using elements from the earlier games, they both felt watered down and clumsy. They finally made it up to me with Shattered Memories, but even that was a reworking of the first game.
My Diagnosis: Moderate Sequelitis. Recommendation: Either give us better games than Origins and Homecoming, or just let Silent Hill drift back into the fog until you can round up enough money hats to get Team Silent back together. And quit picking at that.
Patient #2. Nintendo. This is one of the few instances where sequelitis is a benefit. Zelda, Mario, Metroid, all of them have numerous sequels, and damn near all of them wind up on some message board nerd’s list of favorite games. Fights break out over which Mario game is the best, friendships end over favorite Metroids. And heaven help you if you walk into a “best Zelda” discussion unprepared. Nations have fallen over less arguing. Nintendo’s pretty much got it down when it comes to sequels for their main franchises.
Nintendo isn’t all joy and puppies, though. I’m looking at you, Mario Party. Seriously, how many of these things did they crank out? A bajillion? Can anyone tell them apart now? I bet not.
My Diagnosis: Acute but beneficial Sequelitis. Recommendation: Cut the Mario Party crap. And keep up the good work.
Patient #3. Splinter Cell. I don’t have anything against stealth games, or spy games. But aside from the brief pause between Double Agent and Conviction, Splinter Cell games were coming out at the rate of a game a year. That seems both excessive and dangerously close to oversaturation to me. I’d have more to complain about here, but the voice acting is usually incredible and hell, sneaking is fun. I just really wish they’d let Sam catch his breath once in a while, instead of having to put him trough his paces game after game after game after—you get the idea.
My Diagnosis: Moderate Sequelitis. Recommendation: Plenty of bedrest, and keep hydrated. Don’t lose your voice actors, and the rest should take care of itself.
Patient #4. Final Fantasy. Bring on the hate, but there are thirteen Final Fantasy games. That’s not including the Tactics games, or the Adventure games. Two was just horribly broken. Eight’s Draw system was poorly planned. Twelve’s story was a blatant Star Wars ripoff. Ten had one of the most cringeworthy laugh scenes I’ve ever been subjected to, and a whiny main character on top of it. There’s a lot of games, that gives me a lot to bitch about. And Dissidia. Dear lord. I understand that it’s a fan service game, I really do, but it is such a mess.
My Diagnosis: Severe Sequelitis. Recommendation: I’m sure there’s a shot for this, the cream doesn’t seem to be controlling the breakouts. I would honestly ask Square Enix to consider coming up with a way to launch a new franchise. That I can simultaneously love and complain about in a future version of this list.
Patient #5. Castlevania. I have difficulty naming all the portable Metroidvanias, because there are a fuckton of them. Seriously, I can’t keep track of HarmonyAriaPortraitCircleofEcclesia or whatever after I finished them. Yet I did finish most of them, it’s crazy. Lament of Innocence and Curse of Darkness, while pretty, were lacking…something. Add to that the last console game in the series was a janky, broken trainwreck. And that’s on top of being a busted excuse for a fighting game. I am desperately hoping the upcoming Lords of Shadow reboot will breathe some life into the series.
My Diagnosis: Advanced Sequelitis. Recommendation: Don’t fuck up the reboot. And get your finger out of there, you’ll make it worse.
Patient #6. Sonic the Hedgehog. Sonic had his heyday, and that was back in the Genesis days. Sonic, Sonic 2, and Sonic 3. It was pretty much a downhill slide from there (an incredibly fast, blurry blue slide). What followed were attempts at 3D that were better left on the drawing board, hosts of animal sidekicks, and what seemed to be lots of service to a furry audience. Oh, and let’s not forget Shadow and his gun, or Silver and his Hand That Rocks the Cradle obsession with Sonic. But this would all be incomplete without me mentioning the werewolf.
My Diagnosis: Severe Sequelitis Recommendation: Lay off the little blue guy and his multi-tailed boyfriend for a while, guys. A series of rabies and distemper shots couldn’t hurt, either.
Patient #7. Dragon Quest. No other franchise has caused the Japanese government to force the video game industry to release games on non-school days. Or so I hear. With a ninth game on the way, and a number of spinoffs and rereleases, the Dragon Quest formula has stayed more or less the same through most of its iterations. While this comforts fans with more of the same, it also alienates people who see the series as archaic. Potential truancy aside, it still sells into the millions every time.
My Diagnosis: Severe Sequelitis. Recommendation: Apparently what works for DQ fans works really, really well. Although lancing that slime might still be a good idea. It’s beginning to fester.
Thank you for stopping by. Once you’re all dressed, the nurse will take care of your billing information and show you out.
***For the most fabulous gaming column on the net, come back every Sunday for Diva Down.***
About the Author
Paul Cross
Paul graduated high school playing video games, got bored with college playing video games, and then was hopelessly sucked into retail, where he’s been trapped ever since, still playing video games. Now he writes about them, and it would best if you got out of his way.
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