The NPCs: Most Disappointing Games of this Generation

For every bit of joy gaming gives us, there is always that bit of heartbreak that stalls our love for gaming just a bit. Disappointment in the video game world has been around as long as video games themselves and this generation was no different, bringing about some incredibly hyped games with little rewards. Therefore, here are The NPCs’ most disappointing games of this generation, ranging from long awaited platformer sequels, to seemingly flawless new IPs that weren’t what we thought they were. Writers participating in this edition of The NPCs are Steve Bogda, Jaleel Boone, and Josh “Genki” Michaelson.

10. Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts

Genki says: So Rare had the idea of bringing back the classic Banjo-Kazooie platformer series. They showed the E3 teaser and everybody got so incredibly pumped. Then a year later, they revealed that you’d be making cars and driving almost the entire time. Oh, and Kazooie is useless this time around sans holding a magic wrench. The hell? The game itself wasn’t too terrible after the font problem was fixed, but it definitely wasn’t the game anybody expected or wanted. What makes it worse is that the game’s poor sales may have pretty much cut off any chance of a legitimate Banjo-Threeie from ever happening.

9. Red Steel

Genki says: Ah, Red Steel. Back when the Wii was coming out and hyped up as hell as having crazy-good 1:1 controls and whatnot offering great swordplay and gunplay. Then people actually played Red Steel and realized it was stupid, unresponsive waggling mixed with incredibly retarded AI. Oh, and it looked absolutely horrible graphically. It makes me wonder now if they even tried back then. The game was just so incredibly disappointing since it could have had so much potential as Wii launch game.

8. Too Human

Steve says: Silicon Knights promised a lot out of Too Human. Between its unique blend ancient mythology and futuristic weapons, Too Human looked like it could be a solid game at worst. If you were to call Too Human “solid” now, you’d be quite g. What was supposed to one of the biggest games to hit the Xbox 360 since Halo 3 turned out to be one of Microsoft’s biggest blunders. With a death sequence that lasted forever every time you died, gamers became so annoyed with Too Human that it became a burden to finish. Which is especially sad when you take into account Too Human’s second biggest complaint: it’s incredibly short length.

7. Lair

Steve says: What’s more badass than riding a dragon while torching knights’ scalps off from above? Well, if you’re riding that dragon in Lair, almost everything. Lair was an absolutely beautiful game. Its incredible art direction, a wonderful soundtrack, and awe inspiring graphics would have you believe that Lair could be anything but not successful. But that’s not taking into account the game’s controls, which were absolutely terrible, and perhaps the worst to come out of this generation. Lair is often credited with the death of SIXAXIS, and for good reason. The the motion controls utilized in the game were so cheaply done that it almost rendered the game broken. Which it might as well could have been.

6. Halo 3: ODST

Genki says: As it is with every other Halo game, ODST was hyped as hell. It offered a return to the classic Halo gameplay, removing dual wielding and items and reintroducing health packs. It could’ve been really good. Then it turned out the whole game was just “hoard mode” mixed with ridiculously long driving segments that screwed the player over if they had no vehicle. Oh, and how about that completely useless story that added absolutely nothing to the plot? Sure, maybe a couple things that hardcore Halo players might have been losing sleep over were answered, but they were things that didn’t even need an answer.

5. Killzone 2

Jaleel says: Killzone 2 gets the rare distinction of being a disappointment before it was even released. The announcement trailer that rocked the gaming world had everyone in complete awe at the power and potential of the PS3. That was until we all found out that what we saw was a pre-rendered “target video” instead of actual gameplay footage.  By the time the game got around to being released, we were already knee-deep in post apocalyptic shooters with pretty graphics like Resistance: Fall of Man and Gears of War that rose above being just “alright.” Killzone 2 will be forever cemented in time as the “not-so-killer” app.

4. Prince of Persia

Genki says: After having a fantastic trilogy run, everybody was wondering what the hell Ubisoft was going to do next with the Prince of Persia franchise. And then 2006′s Prince of Persia happened. They called it a “reboot,” and that was why it was sharing the same title as the far superior original. The game—if you could even call it that—was just a huge letdown. Mainly because it basically plays itself and leaves you on the sidelines tapping “A” every other jump. The game doesn’t even let you die. Even though they argued that they were just skipping the “Game Over” screen you’d have to look at before trying again, they missed the point of giving consequences for actions made. Oh, and let’s not forget the game doesn’t even have a damn ending despite having Epilogue DLC. Oh, and how about Nathan Drake—I mean the “Prince?” Sure is nice how they never even clarified if he actually was a friggin prince. Now what is Ubisoft doing? Trying to pretend that little accident never happened and releasing another Sands of Time entry.

3. Assassin’s Creed

Jaleel says: What’s confusing about Assassin’s Creed is that it’s one of those games that practically makes itself. “Stealth action game set in the Crusades where you’re an acrobatic assassin” was a concept that Ubisoft had to go out of their way to fuck up. Sure it’s not terrible, but the division amongst nerds over a high budget title that should have been no-brainer awesome means it deserves a spot in this list. Pointless repetition can destroy any quality concept, and Creed proved that. In the end, I’m thankful for the things the game taught me; you shouldn’t always believe the hype, factory workers have more job variety than assassins, and killing people is cool as long as long as you’re near a haystack.

2. Final Fantasy XIII

Steve says: Final Fantasy XIII was sadly the inspiration for this list. For a game that was supposed to be the best RPG of all time, it’s hard to even call FF13 a good game. Sure, it is beautiful. I will not deny that. From the game’s beautiful cinematography to the lush worlds it presents, the game is a charm to look at. But looks are deceiving: Final Fantasy 13 has some major, crippling problems.

First off, the game forces you to follow in a straight line for nearly twenty-five fucking hours. Twenty-five fucking hours of walking from Point A to Point B. Sure, does the game open up after that? Yes, it does. But that’s after spending a whole day staring at a computer screen. Final Fantasy XIII also includes some extremely annoying characters, even for JRPG standards. The story is practically told in backlogs, the game’s battle mechanics are sloppy, and in the end, I just stopped giving a shit about the game while playing it. For a game that’s supposed to keep me enthralled for sixty hours, that’s pretty damn disappointing.

1. Spore

Steve says: No game promised gamers more this generation than Spore. We were promised the most advanced simulation experience ever to be programmed. Instead, we got an evolutionary system that would make most scientists lather their eyes with mace. We were promised the deepest, most fine-tuned RPG experience of all time. Instead, we got five completely different games from five different completely genres sandwiched shittly together. We were promised a perfect blend of different gaming elements that would creatively replicate the evolutionary process of life.

Instead, Spore was a schizophrenic generic mess.

From randomly placed puzzles to terribly designed open-ended gameplay, Spore was an all over the place piece of shit. The game’s replay value was supposed to be limitless, but most gamers (like myself) got fed up after creating one species. Upon the game’s launch, units were riddled with technical failures ranging from mouse-slamming bugs to discs simply not working. Nearly, everything about Spore’s release did not live up to the lofty expectations thrusted upon it.

When a game as hyped as Spore becomes known more so for penis monsters than the game itself, it’s hard not to name it anything but the most disappointing game of a generation. Thus far.

***The NPCs contribute to a roundtable article every Thursday. Check back each week for more arguments, lists, and commentary from the NPC crew.***s