The Horrors of Gamestop
I have about two years of GameStop employment under my belt. I don’t currently work there, and I plan to never work there again. GameStop was the first job I ever had, and I went into the store with high expectations. I was, at heart, a gaming nerd entering a normal person’s job market. Of course I wasn’t expecting saving Princess Peach or to fighting waves of alien invaders to be part of my job description. But, at the very least, I was hoping that a job in the gaming market would give me the opportunity to discuss my favorite hobby with like-minded peers in a comfortable environment. However, I was quickly disappointed to learn that GameStop was, in its futility, was just another damn job.
GameStop is not a portal used to immerse employees in the gaming industry, nor is it a guaranteed career. Quite the contrary; GameStop is simply another media retail chain and as an employee, you get the same treatment you would anywhere else. Its not anywhere close to as glamorous as you would think, and I found to to be one of the most stress-inducing and unrewarding environments for an entry level employee.
My tenure at GameSpot gave me an inflamed bitterness and an experienced begrudging for corporate gaming. In merely two years, I saw it all, heard it all, and cleaned it all up. Any rumors you’ve heard about the store’s business is probably true. So, to anyone interested in finding employment in GameStop, I ask you to heed my warning and offer this guide to what your experience would be like.
Part I: Meet the Staff
The Plucky Entry Level Customer Service Representative AKA The Neophyte
This is what you’ll start off as and generally there will be others like you. The bigwigs call their entry level employees “Game Advisers,” an important sounding title that really just means “grunt” or “workhorse.” Game Advisers rarely advise anything as they’re too busy re-alphabetizing the Xbox 360 games on the shelves. You can tell the difference between The Neophyte and an experienced employee because The Neophyte’s spirit is yet to be broken. They carry out their menial duties with pride and still believe that the bulk of the job includes sitting around and bullshitting about video games all day (a common and major misconception.) As they toil and earn more hours and responsibilities, the light in their eyes slowly fades and they evolve into bitter, dronish beings. Congratulations, this is what you gamers looking for jobs at the store have to look forward to.
From a customer’s perspective, The Neophyte is one of your better bets if you need help finding anything in the store or if you need a genuine opinion of a game. Ironically, the most knowledgeable gamers are often the lowest on the GameStop employment food chain. That’s because for GameStop, knowledge and friendliness come in at a distant second to sales, which many gamers don’t have experience in. It may be an effective strategy, but a franchise that banks on exploiting and demoralizing its employees does not make its employees happier.
The Attractive Female Manager or Assistant Manager AKA The Meat
Meanwhile, ditzy, inexperienced, non-gamer girls find themselves in GameStop positions of power more often than not. This is because owning breasts enhance any person’s sales effectiveness to 150%. GameStop Inc knows this and uses it to its full potential, hiring any cute girl who kind of knows who Super Mario is. Many call bullshit, but the logic is flawless; would you rather be convinced to buy a Game Informer magazine subscription from a gangly, pimply guy with a half beard, or the curvy goth chick with the adorable speech impediment? Girls know how to flirt and flirting can get them anything in life. That includes a management job at a video game store.
Ultimately, The Meat will cause more problems than solutions as her obvious ignorance to gaming will eventually catch up to her. She will claim to have an Xbox Live membership and that she plays first person shooters with the boys but this is rarely the case. Fortunately for The Meat, and as I mentioned before, GameStop doesn’t require its employees to know a damn thing about video games to keep their jobs. GameStop and The Meat share a symbiotic relationship where the company gets a pinup girl to appeal upselling to sad and lonely nerds. In return, the girl gets to shallowly be part of a subculture and consider herself that “alternative cool” girl that likes video games. Hurray for validation.
Also, no, she won’t go out with you. Ever.
The Employed Friend of the Manger AKA The Stooge
Yet another person less qualified than you for a good position, but will get it anyway. The Stooge is usually a high school friend or room mate of the store manager who needed a job. Often times, they’re given the Game Adviser position like most newbies, but sometimes they’re immediately promoted to a senior or assistant manager position because he and the manager are bros. Regardless of rank, The Stooge will act as though he has as much power as the store manager. He will boss others around, often hiding behind the excuse that he “knows what the manager would want to be done.” Coincidentally, The Stooge will usually also be rude and ignorant. They live on the misinterpretation that they’ve scored a sweet job where they can do or say anything because their friend will definitely not fire them.
Stooges are often short lived as they will make mistakes that even the manger can’t cover. Customers should take heed to identify and make friends with The Stooge before he’s ultimately terminated. He will attempt to bend the rules for customers he likes, once again justifying that the manager will be cool with it, and try to apply discounts only the manager is legally capable of. Most of the time, he’ll screw something up and give the customer much more of a discount than actually possible. Bonus!
The Experienced, Jaded Store Manager AKA The Beast
Your boss is usually a cool person at first. Soon you’ll learn that he or she has taken this GameStop manager thing a little too far, and thinks he or she is a forefront leader in gaming culture. The Beast will demand respect he does not deserve; his word is law, and any gaming opinion or rumor from his mouth is unassailable fact. Any attempt to contend The Beast’s proclamations is met with, “Uh, I think I would know a little more about this than you.” Usually, The Beasts are just evolutions of eats and lucky Stooges, so they don’t know more than you.
The Beast treats his shitty GameStop job like its more than another dead-end, 16 dollar an hour gig, like its a badge of power to be recognized by all who look upon it. The Beast has the same misconceived complex that The Meat has, that gaming has become this new, fresh, badass culture, and that being a Game-fucking-Stop manager must mean that he is the freshest and most badass of the bunch. As an aside, when I worked with GameStop, almost all of the management in my district were screwing around with each other behind their wifes’ and husbands’ backs. Beasts are also infamous inbreeders.
Familiarize with these four archetypes, new GameStop employees, as they are constant in GameStops all around the country. I thought maybe I worked in a particularly frustrating district but I have talked with many other employees and former employees from many different places and it really is the same anywhere you go. Perhaps this warning will help all Neophytes on their journeys and perhaps even turn the tides of GameStop’s less than perfect hiring agenda. Probably not.
Part II: Meet the Customers!
Now that you’re acclimated with the worst corporate gaming has to offer, its important to understand they don’t exactly have it easy. For one sub-par GameStop employee, there are a hundred sub-par customer experiences that made them that way. Clientele is important to any business and GameStop is quick to follow the old adage that “the customer is always right.” GameStop employees soon learn that no matter how right a customer may be, they can still all be stupid. Infuriating customer experiences can be a deal breaker for new employees and GameStop has them in spades. Let’s take a look at some of the regulars.
The Neglecting Mother
These foul creatures are quite common and can be the average GameStop worker’s worst enemy. They’re usually stay at home moms with a disposable income and a hankering for a shopping spree at JC Penny’s. There’s a snag in their plans, however, as they can’t just leave their bratty kid at home. Their solution is to drop off their spawn at the local video game outlet so they can spend the next three hours using the demo outlets. When an employee approached the kid about where their mommy is, they reply “she told me to stay here until she’s done.”
The Neglecting Mother treats GameStop as though it was a free daycare and as though its employees will be able to take care of their snotty child (they assume its part of the employee’s $6.75 an hour job description). Besides being an obvious infraction of the law, it’s downright despicable to leave a young son or daughter in the hands of an under-qualified, unsuspecting retail store employee. The Neglecting Mother is most commonly an offender at mall GameStops but she has also been seen dropping her child off at outlet stores and driving off. When I worked there, one time, we had to call the cops. Another time, we called child services.
The Oblivious Mother
A more sympathetic, but still quite frustrating variation on the Mother type customer, The Oblivious Mother is usually found in GameStop around the holidays with a terrified look on her face. She’s terrified because she’s found herself in an unfamiliar store buying an unfamiliar gift for her video game loving son. She has a vague idea of what he wants and even has the title scribbled down on a piece of paper, though now she can’t read her own handwriting. She meanders the store for a few minutes before finally mustering the courage to ask an employee. She approaches the first kid with a name tag she sees and says:
“I’m looking for a game for my son, I think it has an animal in it but it may also be about sports.”
We can’t blame them for not knowing everything about video games, but that means we also can’t help them. The Oblivious Mother will end up blissfully wasting hours of an employee’s time as she’s sure if she could just find the game or see it, she’d know for sure what to buy. Many times, she will leave disappointed, as she couldn’t find the right game that has an animal but might also be about sports.
The Super Nerd
The Super Nerd emerges from his basement every several days to attempt social interaction with the general populace. Shut out from most other social circles, he tries his luck at the place most comfortable, a GameStop. He rarely wants to purchase any new games as he has already imported all the Japanese RPGs he could ever want to play in his modded PS2. Mostly, he will engage the staff under the impression that, “hey, they work at a video game store, they must be super nerds too!” The poor guy never seems to get the hint and will stand at the checkout counter for hours at a time, awkwardly trying to maintain a pathetic conversation with whichever poor employee who drew the short straw (usually The Meat). It’s hard not to feel sorry for The Super Nerd, that is until he starts bragging about his extensive manga collection, or until he interrupts a costumers question to submit his own, usually wrong answer. The Super Nerd is the guy you didn’t really think existed, and that you swore was too ridiculous to be true. You’re wrong.
The Soldier On Leave
What does a US Army Private want most when he gets those few short weeks of leave on American soil? Why, to emulate the whole military experience on his Xbox 360, of course! It never makes sense, but The Soldier On Leave loves to come into his local GameStop with his fat government check and buy a new 360, a new PS3, and Modern Warfare. Why they want to play a game in which they basically do what they’ve been doing for the past two years for real in a foreign country is beyond me. I’ve asked The Soldier if he wanted to try a SciFi shooter or another title, to which he replied “Uh, no, I shoot real things.”
The Soldier On Leave also has the tendency to be a self-important dick to employees. When asked if he’d like to preorder a game or a magazine subscription, he usually will smirk and respond that he’ll be back in the Middle East in that way that suggests his purpose is higher than that of a lowly, cowardly GameStop employee. While this may be true, it doesn’t mean employees want to constantly hear it. Employees tend to keep on The Soldier’s good side as anyone who spends years abroad killing real people and comes home to kill fake people is probably not doing the best mentally.
The Armchair Coach
Similar to the Super Nerd, these guys are strictly sports gamers and feel their fantasy football team is interesting enough to share. The weird thing about sports in general is they don’t understand if someone doesn’t like sports. So, if you just happen to not like or know the rules of football, you’re SOL because he’s going to tell you about his experience with Madden’s Dynasty Manager mode anyway. The Armchair Coach expects everyone to memorize as many team rosters and play charts as he has and will rattle of names like he’s a high school gym test from hell. The Coach is usually a late twenties to early thirties male with a severe superiority complex. This comes from a life of disappointment, not making college ball after the leg injury, and getting the head cheerleader pregnant. His dreams shattered, he retreats to the alternate reality brought to him by yet another Madden sequel. Now we all have to suffer.
The Crackhead
Easy to identify because when they aren’t blatantly stealing from the store, they’re trading in ten copies of the same shrink-wrapped game for cash. Having a drug habit is hard work, but with GameStop, which is basically an ask-no-questions pawn shop, getting that next fix is just a few more Walmart pilfers away. GameStop’s policy on taking stolen merchandise is pretty relaxed, and managers are actually encouraged to look the other way, or at least that was the impression I was given. When The Crackhead came in with his stack of Halo 3 copies, we’d discreetly remove the shrinkwrap and sell them as used. True story. The Crackhead is actually usually a friendly creature most of the time. Cross his path, call his bluff, or apprehend him as he’s stealing CD cleaner, and you might just find a sharpened toothbrush in your face!
The list goes on and many new species of horrible customers are discovered every day. After putting up with so much bullshit, many GameStop employees find themselves asking if its really worth it. It isn’t. It’s a tough, trivial job, and if you don’t have to do it, then you shouldn’t. Stay away, and don’t fill out the application form.
A Day In the Life
My extensive experience with GameStop has left me a bit jaded towards the corporate side of gaming. Working with the company made me miserable. I started as a Neophyte like many teenagers do with a profound optimism just waiting to be crushed. While I was told I was going to be thrown head first into the world of gaming, I soon found out I was thrown head first into the world of unrewarding sales. After an intense preliminary training, I was informed by management that my main purpose as an employee was to upsale as many game presales and magazine subscriptions as possible. Where any other company would honor its employees for effective sales skills with a paycheck bonus or an increase in hours, GameStop rewards its employees with letting them keep their jobs. At first, I fell for the lie that being an exemplary upseller would result in a promotion. Slowly and surely, I started to realize GameStop’s bizarre hiring practices would insure that The Meat and The Stooge would always hold a higher position than me on the company food chain.
I have been a victim to every character I’ve described in this article. Managers have phased me out of promotions to keep their stooges at the top of the store ladder. I have shown dumb, female managers how to plug in an Xbox 360. Crackheads have threatened to stab me while stealing Super Mario Galaxy mints. My experiences are not atypical. I’ve shared my stories with fellow employees and I’ve come to learn that the world of video game sale and trade is one of the most bizarre in business history. Despite all this, GameStop refuses to change its practices towards employees. I guess when you’re one of the fastest growing and most successful companies of the new millennium, you don’t really need to worry about the people who got you there.
This is by no means the first exposé on GameStop, nor will it be the last. Many times, the company finds ways to get any negative press removed from publication. While it temporarily halts the talk, it only reinforces the point that the life of a GameStop employee is less than ideal, and GameStop definitely has tons to hide. It’s our responsibility as gamers to keep the culture friendly and make it more about fun than about business.
About the Author
Writer from DAMNLAG's Past
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