Eight Pokemon revelations you may have never noticed

Outside of Disney World and the flashback-inducing Boomerang Channel (Boomerang has been playing Dexter’s Laboratory for a while now. Yeah, Dexter’s frickin’ Laboratory is considered a “classic.” Feel old?), nothing tops the Pokemon franchise in the nostalgia factor. For the most part, Pokemon has blocked out any recollection of my first through fourth grade experiences. Instead of schoolyard games and book reports, all I see are Rattatas and Pidgeottos.

Back in the late nineties, kids like me were so fiendishly obsessed with Pokemon, that we just assume that we should know everything there is to know about the franchise. It’s only when you take a retrospective look as an adult that you begin to pick up little details that the games, cartoons, and cards sneakily revealed. Pokemon has a lot of excess baggage and weird little easter eggs that you all probably missed out on. Without further hold up, I present merely some of Pokemon’s many secrets.

WARNING: This article may cause your head to explode. If you’re not into that sort of thing, maybe you should skip this one.

Humans in the Pokemon world eat Pokemon

Gamers always joke about how funny it would be if the civilians of Kanto, Johto, Hoenn and Sinnoh ate Pokemon for their nutritional needs. Well let me enlighten you: there is no “if.” Humans devour the crap out of Pokemon.

The first direct reference to a Pokemeal came out of Gold and Silver. When you first encounter Team Rocket, they are attempting to steal a bunch of Slowpoke from a Slowpoke well, all in hopes to snag some precious SlowpokeTail.

Now, you didn’t think they were slicing off the tails of Slowpoke for fun, right? Hell no. There is a demand for dead Slowpoke, and it’s not to showcase them in a museum or for them to become stuffed toys. It’s because they’re fucking delicious.

See, SlowpokeTail is considered a delicacy in Johto. Therefore, if Slowpoke is a delicacy, then there are other Pokemon that are considered everyday fodder. And you thought it sucked to be a Miltank five seconds ago? Even before that, the Red & Blue Pokedex describes Farfetch’d as an endangered species due to how great he tastes with some gravy and stuffing.

The games aren’t the only ones to reference the possibility of Psyduck Confit or Magikarp Rolls: the anime show is filled with images of meat, fish, and dairy. It’s never clarified where all this food comes from, but since the only animals ever seen are Pokemon, it’s not that hard to guess their origins. Come on, don’t act like this doesn’t look mouth-watering:

But it’s not like Pokemon are necessarily immune to eating each other. After all, does Aerodactyl look like he’s going to be eating a salad for dinner tonight?