Lessons Metroid Taught Me
With Other M coming out in what will likely be a matter of hours once this column is posted, I felt it was time to take a look back at the series. With a new creative team producing the new game, I also felt it was time to examine just what I’ve learned from each one old school public service announcement style. Hopefully we all remember that knowing is half the battle. Or something.
Metroid
Did anyone have any idea that the dude in the suit was female? Anyone? I sure as hell didn’t. And yet, once Mother Brain went under and Samus made it outside, off went the helmet, and there she was. The lesson here? Never assume things about a person in a sealed space suit. I’d probably avoid assuming it’s a person as well, just to be on the safe side. Hell, Samus could have been a robot for all we knew.
The Moral:Never judge a book by it’s cover, or a tranny by her wig. Wait, no. Just the first one.
Metroid II: Return of Samus
It never even occurred to me that a Metroid game could kick that much ass without any color. Yes, I balked at the idea of putting Metroid’s first sequel on the lowly Game Boy. Yes, I ate my words several times.
The Moral: Don’t underestimate the Game Boy. Assuming you punks are old enough to remember it.
Super Metroid
At this point, I’d spent two games murdering the hell out of those soul-sucking Metroids. No remorse, no regrets. Then this game came along and turned things upside down on me. Since we’re years past worrying about spoilers on this one, I’ll just say it: I felt so sad when the baby Metroid died. Crushed.
The Moral: Aeris had it coming, the baby Metroid did NOT.
Metroid Prime
Switching up the perspective on us changed things, I would argue for the better. Prime put the player inside Samus’ suit, behind her visor. It let you pick up pieces of the story by scanning the world around you, or just focus on the action. It also managed to keep the platforming intact, as well as the majority of Samus’ arsenal.
The Moral: Change is good. Especially when it looks this pretty.
Metroid Fusion
If you had any doubts as to whether or not the Game Boy Advance could deliver a quality Metroid adventure, this game hopefully quelled them. Besides, if they could do an awesome game on the Game Boy, they sure as hell could do it on the Advance. So really, you should have known better. Shame on you. Also, you got unlockables by using the link cable! If you bought one at your local retailer.
The Moral: Doubting Nintendo’s ability to cross merchandise is a bad idea. The link cable should be proof enough of this.
Metroid Pinball
I’ll keep this one short. Never underestimate the selling power of a pinball game. Especially a Metroid-branded one.
The Moral: Pinball can still rock your face off. Assuming it has explosives and Ridley.
Metroid: Zero Mission
Basically a retelling of the first Metroid with a few twists thrown in (playing minus an armored suit, additional bosses and items not in the original). Zero was fun, explodey, and way, way too short.
The Moral: It is very possible for a Metroid game to under deliver. It happened right here.
Metroid Prime Hunters
A game where the focus isn’t really on Metroids or the Space Pirates? No Metroids even make an appearance? Unheard of, yet it works. The addition of other hunters chasing down the story’s MacGuffin also spiced things up a bit, as well as fleshing out the game’s multiplayer.
The Moral: Just because they’re in the name, doesn’t mean they need to be in the game. Unless you’re one of those idiots who calls the main character by the name of the game. Stop that.
Metroid Prime 2: Echoes
The second Prime game kept the game play basically the same, and tossed in a light world/dark world theme along with it. It also introduces another Chozo-level race, the Luminoth, and their dark reflections, the Ing. It also made this game the Zelda 2 of the series, with a lot of loud criticism and a cult following.
The Moral: Oh hey, Zelda? We’re gonna go ahead and do a mirrored world with gigantic bosses too, okay? Cool.
Metroid Prime 3: Corruption
Actual spoken dialogue and multiple worlds to visit expanded the Metroid world considerably. Even if the Aurora units sound creepy as shit. Oh, and that Phazon you’ve been avoiding like the plague for the past two games? Yeah, it’s in you now. But it’s a weapon, yay! That can kill you, boo.
The Moral: When the general with the gigantic head and ridiculous hat gives you an order, you follow it, by god.
Metroid: Other M
A new creative team, new story, and wait for it…Samus speaks. I know a ton of people are skeptical that this is just going to be Metroid Gaiden (or is it Ninja Metroid?), but keep in mind that Nintendo is very protective of their babies.
The Moral: As always, the gameplay will tell. Also, don’t expect the black space marine to survive.
So, there you have it. A series of lessons taught to us by the Metroid series. Sorry I didn’t have a creaky projector or poorly animated character to go over why they’re important with you, but I still think they hold true on their own. Hopefully Other M won’t disappoint, I’d hate to think it’s only as good as a pinball game.
About the Author
Paul Cross
Paul graduated high school playing video games, got bored with college playing video games, and then was hopelessly sucked into retail, where he’s been trapped ever since, still playing video games. Now he writes about them, and it would best if you got out of his way.
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