
Five Nintendo Games We All Wish Existed
Every Nintendo fanboy is a bit on the … needy side. They’re always asking for new games, new directions, and better versions of what Nintendo already offers them. All you have to do is take a visit to any Nintendo forum to see the stark irrationality of the average Nintendo fanboy (especially when it comes to their insatiable desires).
But one of the best strengths that Nintendo fanboys possess, second only to their ability to whine and avoid the sun, is their imagination. Nintendo lovers are great at wishing for things that will most likely never happen. There are dozens of Nintendo game ideas riddling the internet that were spawned by some of The Big N’s most passionate fans. These range from ideas that should be taken under serious consideration (like the five games I’m about to list) to some that are flat-out laughable (such as a Mario first-person shooter). I have assembled some of these musings into a five-game list, all of which are potential games that would kick some serious ass. Being the self-proclaimed “rational” Nintendo fanboy, I must admit that the following game ideas are all pipe dreams (Mario pun intended). They are mere creations of the collective imagination of the Nintendo fanbase (and mine, for that matter). But hell, a Metroid game developed by Team Ninja and a new Kid Icarus are prepping for their releases. Now, more so than ever, is the time for wishful thinking.
5. Star Fox RPG developed by … Bioware
After Star Fox Adventures crucified the franchise with its attempt to transform Star Fox into Zelda, Nintendo put Fox & Co. to sleep for a bit. Now it’s been over five years since the last “major” Star Fox release, and numerous preparations are being made to bring the franchise back into relevance.
But with Star Fox 64 being re-released on the 3DS, will there be a demand for a flight shoot-em-up on Wii? Probably not. So rather than giving Star Fox to some mediocre developer to remake the same game for the seventeenth frickin’ time, why not give the franchise to the leader in space video games to reinvent? Bioware could create a whole RPG universe around Star Fox, whilst bringing back the staple flight gameplay of the franchise. All you have to do is take a look at Mass Effect to see what level of quality Bioware could bring to the Star Fox franchise, a level of quality that Star Fox hasn’t been associated with in over a decade.
Oh, and there’s even a blue alien wolf for Fox to have sex with.
4. Kingdom Hearts – Nintendo Style
Disney characters are cool and all, but you know what’s just as cool? Nintendo characters. But do you know what’s twice as cool as Nintendo or Disney characters? Nintendo and Disney characters in the same damn game.
Kingdom Hearts really isn’t known for making much practical sense. Therefore, it’s the only realm possible where we could see Mario and Mickey, the two most iconic animated characters in history, interact with each other. I think seeing Link and Simba, the two cornerstones of my childhood, in the same frame might give my brain too much of a mindfuck to handle.
It would be extremely intriguing to see how the game would control. Traversing worlds from the Mushroom Kingdom to Dream Land would be as interesting to see as it would be to play. Imagine Square slightly altering the game’s levels to resemble the classic gameplay of a 2D Mario game, or giving Sora some famous Zelda weapons as he unlocks Hyrule’s mysteries. The game potentially offers an unlimited amount of gameplay supplements to the already basic structure that is the Kingdom Hearts combat system. Oh, and it would be the most nostalgic piece of entertainment since Fantasmic.
3. A Modern, Wii Mother Game (oh, and in English)
The story of the Mother franchise is some really depressing shit. To prove my point, here’s a quick summary of Mother 3 (spoiler alert not really needed since Nintendo doesn’t have the stones to translate the game into English. Give up hope guys, that boat sailed three years ago.):
The main character’s name is Lucas. Lucas’ mother is eaten by a dinosaur in the first chapter of the game, and Lucas’ brother kills himself in the last. In between, his father goes nuts with anger due to the death of his wife and the entire world is controlled by a totalitarian regime, creating a dark, twisted version of American suburbia.
That suicidal sandwich needs to be in full 3D environments on a console with top-notch production It’s just too engrossingly dark of a franchise to be portrayed on handhelds. Mother’s emotional scope is bigger. While a full-fledged Mother game probably won’t ever happen due to Nintendo’s fear of the average American’s reaction, it still doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be an incredible experience. Hell, I’d say the unknown reaction might be more reason to create the damn thing. In America, there is no better form of marketing than controversy.
2. Modern Zelda
Skyward Sword is set to refine and retool the way you control Link, but once that is settled, where does Link go from there? I have no doubt when saying that I believe Miyamoto and Friends will be able to create a fluid, one to one experience in Skyward Sword. But the Wiimote can only take the Zelda experience so far.
The level of variety in Zelda games waned down to a matter of whether or not you get the slingshot or boomerang first. That’s why a major redesign and reshuffling of the Zelda franchise needs to come immediately after Skyward Sword’s release. What better way to re-imagine the medieval franchise by giving it a new setting in a new time. Now, get ready Zelda fans, because I’m about to take you far out of your comfort zone. Let’s picture Hyrule becoming a totalitarian city-state, with daunting skyscrapers and high-tech security systems.
Wouldn’t it be cool to see a ninja-esque Link transverse this Gotham while wielding an aresenal of firepower? Or a glider? Or a rocket launcher? What about Epona becoming the name of a Batpod like motorcycle? Hell, you could even let it talk. As for the Master Sword? In canon, the sword alters itself based on Link’s situation (becoming longer when older, shorter when younger, gaining new abilities in the face of evil etc.). Who knows what the sword would turn into when placed in a modern setting, but I’d love to find out.
Blending the classic magic of Zelda with the technology and presentation of modern combat is too cool of an idea to pass up. Weapon choices are unlimited today. The possibilities of Link and a modern arsenal are limitless. Mix in some magical weapons and it would add a whole new level of variety to the franchise. Nintendo always has focused on Zelda’s classical roots, and with good reason. But it’s impossible to deny that the series is slowly becoming stale. Skyward Sword should be the classic Zelda’s swan song, allowing the series to retire its past atmosphere on a high, creative note.
And no- I am not asking for a Halo Zelda. I just gagged a bit at the very thought. Instead, let’s imagine this futuristic Zelda to be more like Deus Ex. Think Cyberpunk Zelda. It’s been twelve years since the Ocarina of Time, and Zelda is in need of a huge reawakening. I just hope it takes place in a whole different world.
1. Pokemon MMO
I’ have said it before, and I won’t stop saying it. It’s not that Nintendo should make a Pokemon MMO. Nintendo needs to. The idea of traveling across 3D versions of the Pokemon regions with millions of other players shouldn’t need explanation on why it would be great. Nintendo just has to do it.
I know Nintendo isn’t exactly known for their online prowess. In fact, playing Nintendo games online is about as much fun as eating dry wall. A Pokemon MMO would be a massive undertaking, one that I just can’t trust Nintendo or Game Freak to handle themselves. That’s why they would have to outsource a third-party developer. Preferably a Western one. Blizzard might be up to the challenge, but hell, now I’m really dreaming
A Pokemon MMO is just too great of an idea to pass on. Nintendo would finally have a firm position in the online gaming industry, and hardcore gamers get a huge title that could topple World of Warcraft as the world’s most popular game.
A Pokemon MMO is worth dealing with another wave of warped, deranged PokeKids. It’s the ultimate Nintendo fanboy fantasy. More so than any of the other games on this list, its existence would just make practical sense.
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