This weeks games:
This column is brought to you by The DamnLag Forums.

Ten Most Annoying Gameplay Trends

By Bryan Fleck
-June 30, 2010

If you’re reading this, it’s safe to assume you play video games. Not only can they be a great distraction from your messy apartment or an angry girlfriend, but they can also be a huge source of entertainment. However, on some occasions, games choose to be aggravating as hell. There are a ton of stupid features found in games that will raise your blood pressure. These are gameplay elements that are so trite, trivial, and annoying that they make you wonder just how in the world a developer approved them in the first place. It’s even more unbelievably that they continue to put these same mistakes into games. They are now becoming gaming trends.

It’s unhealthy to go through such aggravation. Beware, for even reading this list might make you go into a blind rage.

10. Bosses that spawn little enemies

Bosses should be scary enough on their own. They should be such a large challenge that the endless swarms you’ve faced on the way to a boss are nothing but a nuisance. In fact, they are a nuisance. So, why do developers believe that I would want to fight more while I’m taking down a boss itself. When a boss seemingly gets pissed off, and sends its babies or lackeys to fight me, it makes my blood boil. It basically says to me, “Hey, I’m too much of a total puss to fight you myself, so here, deal with these guys.” Or it portrays how a developer just ran out of ideas to create a proper boss battle.

9. Pointless upgrades

Sometimes, upgrades can be the deciding factor in a game. If it wasn’t for these little boosts, you been dead four levels ago (or in the case of Call of Duty, they mean everything). However, upgrades that give me the ability to carry more smoke grenades, or give my light armor skills a boost (when you’re only wearing heavy armor) are totally useless. I doubt I’ll want to sprint for .5 more seconds, or improve my hand to hand in a shooter. Why even bother coming up with these upgrades? Spend that time on something more productive, like watching paint dry.

8. Interminable Tutorials

I understand that the developers want me to know how to play the game. Teaching me the basics of a game in a well-meaning tutorial is fine. I just hate it when they insist on having some ‘guru’ tell me everything I need to do in a super long message the second the game starts. I’m here to play, not read and take notes. At least make the tutorials interactive, or better yet, skippable. I can’t count how many times I wish I could skip the first hour of most games. I’ve played Ocarina of Time hundreds of times, Navi, I think I know what I’m doing.

7. Long pointless driving missions

For some strange reason, there are tons of game developers who, whilst making the game, feel the need to tack on boring driving sequences. These usually involve little more than getting from point A to point B while the main character tries to discover what to do next. These wouldn’t even be such a pain if the driving controls were any good; however, they are almost always on the verge of unplayable, or too unbearably boring to keep focused.

6. Checkpoints/Save points that are miles apart

Sometimes, you need to stop playing a game. Strange as that sounds, it’s true. You have a “life”, or at least have to take breaks to sleep. However, some games won’t let you stop, because the next checkpoint isn’t until the end of the level, seemingly hours away. You’re left with a choice: either suck it up and lose your progress, or press onward and rush through to the next safe zone. Save points are even worse. At the beginning of the game, they’re practically placed every fifteen feet. Halfway through the story, and you haven’t seen a save point in four hours. Sorry Grandma, I can’t visit you, the next save point isn’t coming until after your birthday.

5. Endless non-skippable cutscenes

Being forced to watch a non-skippable cutscene is a painful experiences. You’re just trying to enjoy the game, but every time you pick up a new item, there’s a minute long movie about how amazing that item is. Anyone who’s played Star Fox Adventures knows exactly what I’m talking about. No matter what buttons you mash or how much you scream, Fox McCloud won’t stop looking at that lame item like he’s just found the Holy Grail.

4. Being sent across the map repeatedly for side quests

I love travelling, but at a certain point, it becomes a pain. You’re playing a game, and someone tells you that they only need one teensy weensy little thing to make their life complete. This quest should be pain-free, right? Wrong. You need to trek forty miles to get to someone who invariably tells you they lent the item to their cousin, who lives ninety miles in the opposite direction. So, you make that journey, like an imbecile, and they tell you they meant their other cousin, who lives in an underground base on the other side of the planet. By the time you finally get the item to its rightful home, they don’t need it anymore. Oh well, you’ll get six gold for your trouble.

3. AI Teammates that get in the way

Don’t even get me started about these losers that try to ‘help’. Give me a break; help from these guys is like calling an Amish guy for tech support. They not only take all the ammo, the best guns, and health packs, but they never seem to be able to kill a single baddie. I’ve seen a group of six marines with M16s unable to kill one Russian with a pistol. The best you can hope for is that you’re not punished for killing them when they inevitably run in front of you while you’re on the turret, or that they’ll stop throwing grenades at your feet.

2. NPCs that won’t shut up

If you can’t help me save the princess or kill the bad guy, I don’t care what you have to say. The endless babble that some NPCs spout is ridiculous. The absolute worst is when they interrupt whoever you’re walking with. They spout useless dialogue “Remember, your arch rival’s only weakness is…” or “So, anyways, I tells her, blah blah blah.” Its times like that I wish I could just slaughter all of the game’s characters. If I can, I usually do.

1. Protecting stupid NPCs

I’ve never met someone who actually enjoys babysitting a moronic NPC. These Darwin award winners usually love to either lag behind and take a nap or jump in front of your line of fire. I’m not sure why these idiots love to run in circles while highly trained soldiers are trying to kill them. There has never, ever been a situation where this has been in any way fun. It’s always a total pain in the ass, and in some cases, like Bioshock, the worst part of the game.

***Check back every Wednesday for more editions of The Barrell Roll.***


About the Author

Bryan Fleck

 

 Check out what's new
 Comments
  • http://rewfarasfvmsdr.com rewfarasfvmsdr

    Websites worth visiting…

    I enjoyed reading your article, many thanks….

  • http://www.top10-onlinecasinos.co.uk/uk-best-online-casino/ uk online casino

    Recommended websites…

    Amazing blog! Thanks for the great contribution with this post….

  • http://www.top10-onlinecasinos.co.uk/uk-online-casino-games/ play poker online

    Great website…

    Cool post, I really enjoyed reading it. I will check out your site for some more content on this subject….

  • http://www.teslasecrets.com tesla secret

    Websites you should visit…

    I really liked your blog, appreciate the great information….

  • http://sunglases.org.uk/s/c/bvlgari-sunglasses/ bvlgari sunglasses

    Websites you should visit…

    I really liked your blog, appreciate the great information….

  • http://www.cladproxy.com usa resudial proxy

    Awesome website…

    Really nice blog. I will check back for more information on this subject later….

  • http://www.tiles-australia.com.au/ Renovation cheap Sydney

    Recommended websites…

    Amazing blog! Thanks for the great contribution with this post….

  • http://www.magenballon.biz/fettabsaugung-liposuktion/ Fettabsaugung

    Recommended websites…

    Amazing blog! Thanks for the great contribution with this post….

  • http://www.commercialpropertysydney.net.au/ industrial property for sale Seven Hills

    Recommended websites…

    Amazing blog! Thanks for the great contribution with this post….

  • http://www.MasterManifestors.com free law of attraction

    Recommended websites…

    Amazing blog! Thanks for the great contribution with this post….

  • http://www.ineedtobemakingcashmoneynow.com/thankyou.html make money online now

    Awesome website…

    Really nice blog. I will check back for more information on this subject later….

  • http://mission-teneleven.tumblr.com/ mission fitness

    Awesome website…

    [...]the time to read or visit the content or sites we have linked to below the[...]……

  • http://www.humanchorus.org/ musician’s friend kansas city address

    Sources…

    [...]here are some links to sites that we link to because we think they are worth visiting[...]…

  • http://dallasfamilyportraits.com Dallas Family Portrait Photographer

    Visitor recommendations…

    [...]one of our visitors recently recommended the following website[...]……

  • http://preworkoutsupplementz.weebly.com/ pre workout supplements

    Sites we Like……

    [...] Every once in a while we choose blogs that we read. Listed below are the latest sites that we choose [...]……

  • http://www.americanantigravity.com/audio/matt-savinar-on-peak-oil.html Peak Oil

    Websites to visit…

    [...]below you’ll find the link to some sites that we think you should visit[...]…

  • http://bda.haifa.ac.il/index.php?title=User_talk:Tacmy1379 website

    Online Articles…

    [...]The information mentioned in the article are some of the best available [...]……

  • http://www.flixya.com/blog/3943112/Meals-and-disposition-go-side-by-side-Serotonin-in-action Tonin

    Visitor recommendations…

    [...]one of our visitors recently recommended the following website[...]……

  • http://www.all4scrapebox.com Scrapebox lists

    Sites we Like……

    [...] Every once in a while we choose blogs that we read. Listed below are the latest sites that we choose [...]……

  • http://whatisserotonin.devhub.com/ what is serotonin

    Read was interesting, stay in touch……

    [...]please visit the sites we follow, including this one, as it represents our picks from the web[...]……

  • http://headlinetrend.info/maradarya/590248-exactly-normal-hdl-blood-choleseterol-levels-along-simplest-achieve-heart-health-protection.html normal cholesterol levels

    Related……

    [...]just beneath, are numerous totally not related sites to ours, however, they are surely worth going over[...]……

  • http://www.blogtext.org/isabellestanton8/article/1151703.html?Carolina+Plantations+-+North+carolina+retirement+communities North Carolina retirement communities

    Blogs ou should be reading…

    [...]Here is a Great Blog You Might Find Interesting that we Encourage You[...]……

  • http://www.ziki.com/en/wyatt-tomas+815654/post/body-by-vi+13771052 body by vi reviews

    Sources…

    [...]check below, are some totally unrelated websites to ours, however, they are most trustworthy sources that we use[...]……

  • http://destinygarcia14.insanejournal.com/500.html Kids climbing frames

    Online Article……

    [...]The information mentioned in the article are some of the best available [...]……

  • http://www.artslant.com/ew/groups/show/475464 Scott Tucker Payday Loans

    Great website…

    [...]we like to honor many other internet sites on the web, even if they aren’t linked to us, by linking to them. Under are some webpages worth checking out[...]……

  • http://nicholasmurphy.xanga.com/758767331/scott-tucker-racing-is-origional-and-definitely-thrilling/ Scott Tucker Racing

    Online Article……

    [...]The information mentioned in the article are some of the best available [...]……

  • http://elijahgarcia711.posterous.com/scott-tucker-racing-results-in-significant-go Scott Tucker Racing

    Cool sites…

    [...]we came across a cool site that you might enjoy. Take a look if you want[...]……

  • http://everything-costumes.com Fancy dress costumes

    Check this out…

    [...] that is the end of this article. Here you’ll find some sites that we think you’ll appreciate, just click the links over[...]……

  • http://myhealthandbusiness.com/categories/4/business/ Justin Bieber Baby

    Related……

    [...]just beneath, are numerous totally not related sites to ours, however, they are surely worth going over[...]……

  • https://www.zeekrewards.com/securesignup.asp?username=seanwalters zeekler affiliate program

    You should check this out…

    [...] Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine a few unrelated data, nevertheless really worth taking a look, whoa did one learn about Mid East has got more problerms as well [...]……

  • http://scotttuckercbs229.tumblr.com/post/16976952102/scott-tucker-cbs-is-really-intresting-if-you-realise Scott Tucker CBS

    Awesome website…

    [...]the time to read or visit the content or sites we have linked to below the[...]……

  • http://www.bpo-companies.com BPO Companies

    Its a challenge to find good help…

    I am constantnly saying that its hard to procure good help, but here is…

  • http://carseatcoversaccessories.info car seat cover

    Links…

    [...]Sites of interest we have a link to[...]……

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNIIM5R-nyA maryland short sale expert

    Gems form the internet…

    [...]very few websites that happen to be detailed below, from our point of view are undoubtedly well worth checking out[...]……

  • http://setiathome.berkeley.edu/show_user.php?userid=9659397 tarot gratis

    Recommeneded websites…

    [...]Here are some of the sites we recommend for our visitors[...]……

  • http://www.lieberbiber.com/link/north-myrtle-beach-visitors-guide_1477214/ North Myrtle Beach Vacations

    Sites we Like……

    [...] Every once in a while we choose blogs that we read. Listed below are the latest sites that we choose [...]……

  • http://frostwire10.com/ frostwire

    Online Article……

    [...]The information mentioned in the article are some of the best available [...]……

  • http://www.ecotarget.com/entertainments/bible-games-make-learning-fun Vita Wetklow

    You should check this out…

    [...] Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine a few unrelated data, nevertheless really worth taking a look, whoa did one learn about Mid East has got more problerms as well [...]……

  • http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0074B2MKE/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_alp_P0Ckpb15XW572 skate ski cross country

    You should check this out…

    [...] Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine a few unrelated data, nevertheless really worth taking a look, whoa did one learn about Mid East has got more problerms as well [...]……