
Ten Most Annoying Gameplay Trends
If you’re reading this, it’s safe to assume you play video games. Not only can they be a great distraction from your messy apartment or an angry girlfriend, but they can also be a huge source of entertainment. However, on some occasions, games choose to be aggravating as hell. There are a ton of stupid features found in games that will raise your blood pressure. These are gameplay elements that are so trite, trivial, and annoying that they make you wonder just how in the world a developer approved them in the first place. It’s even more unbelievably that they continue to put these same mistakes into games. They are now becoming gaming trends.
It’s unhealthy to go through such aggravation. Beware, for even reading this list might make you go into a blind rage.
10. Bosses that spawn little enemies
Bosses should be scary enough on their own. They should be such a large challenge that the endless swarms you’ve faced on the way to a boss are nothing but a nuisance. In fact, they are a nuisance. So, why do developers believe that I would want to fight more while I’m taking down a boss itself. When a boss seemingly gets pissed off, and sends its babies or lackeys to fight me, it makes my blood boil. It basically says to me, “Hey, I’m too much of a total puss to fight you myself, so here, deal with these guys.” Or it portrays how a developer just ran out of ideas to create a proper boss battle.
9. Pointless upgrades
Sometimes, upgrades can be the deciding factor in a game. If it wasn’t for these little boosts, you been dead four levels ago (or in the case of Call of Duty, they mean everything). However, upgrades that give me the ability to carry more smoke grenades, or give my light armor skills a boost (when you’re only wearing heavy armor) are totally useless. I doubt I’ll want to sprint for .5 more seconds, or improve my hand to hand in a shooter. Why even bother coming up with these upgrades? Spend that time on something more productive, like watching paint dry.
8. Interminable Tutorials
I understand that the developers want me to know how to play the game. Teaching me the basics of a game in a well-meaning tutorial is fine. I just hate it when they insist on having some ‘guru’ tell me everything I need to do in a super long message the second the game starts. I’m here to play, not read and take notes. At least make the tutorials interactive, or better yet, skippable. I can’t count how many times I wish I could skip the first hour of most games. I’ve played Ocarina of Time hundreds of times, Navi, I think I know what I’m doing.
7. Long pointless driving missions
For some strange reason, there are tons of game developers who, whilst making the game, feel the need to tack on boring driving sequences. These usually involve little more than getting from point A to point B while the main character tries to discover what to do next. These wouldn’t even be such a pain if the driving controls were any good; however, they are almost always on the verge of unplayable, or too unbearably boring to keep focused.
6. Checkpoints/Save points that are miles apart
Sometimes, you need to stop playing a game. Strange as that sounds, it’s true. You have a “life”, or at least have to take breaks to sleep. However, some games won’t let you stop, because the next checkpoint isn’t until the end of the level, seemingly hours away. You’re left with a choice: either suck it up and lose your progress, or press onward and rush through to the next safe zone. Save points are even worse. At the beginning of the game, they’re practically placed every fifteen feet. Halfway through the story, and you haven’t seen a save point in four hours. Sorry Grandma, I can’t visit you, the next save point isn’t coming until after your birthday.
5. Endless non-skippable cutscenes
Being forced to watch a non-skippable cutscene is a painful experiences. You’re just trying to enjoy the game, but every time you pick up a new item, there’s a minute long movie about how amazing that item is. Anyone who’s played Star Fox Adventures knows exactly what I’m talking about. No matter what buttons you mash or how much you scream, Fox McCloud won’t stop looking at that lame item like he’s just found the Holy Grail.
4. Being sent across the map repeatedly for side quests
I love travelling, but at a certain point, it becomes a pain. You’re playing a game, and someone tells you that they only need one teensy weensy little thing to make their life complete. This quest should be pain-free, right? Wrong. You need to trek forty miles to get to someone who invariably tells you they lent the item to their cousin, who lives ninety miles in the opposite direction. So, you make that journey, like an imbecile, and they tell you they meant their other cousin, who lives in an underground base on the other side of the planet. By the time you finally get the item to its rightful home, they don’t need it anymore. Oh well, you’ll get six gold for your trouble.
3. AI Teammates that get in the way
Don’t even get me started about these losers that try to ‘help’. Give me a break; help from these guys is like calling an Amish guy for tech support. They not only take all the ammo, the best guns, and health packs, but they never seem to be able to kill a single baddie. I’ve seen a group of six marines with M16s unable to kill one Russian with a pistol. The best you can hope for is that you’re not punished for killing them when they inevitably run in front of you while you’re on the turret, or that they’ll stop throwing grenades at your feet.
2. NPCs that won’t shut up
If you can’t help me save the princess or kill the bad guy, I don’t care what you have to say. The endless babble that some NPCs spout is ridiculous. The absolute worst is when they interrupt whoever you’re walking with. They spout useless dialogue “Remember, your arch rival’s only weakness is…” or “So, anyways, I tells her, blah blah blah.” Its times like that I wish I could just slaughter all of the game’s characters. If I can, I usually do.
1. Protecting stupid NPCs
I’ve never met someone who actually enjoys babysitting a moronic NPC. These Darwin award winners usually love to either lag behind and take a nap or jump in front of your line of fire. I’m not sure why these idiots love to run in circles while highly trained soldiers are trying to kill them. There has never, ever been a situation where this has been in any way fun. It’s always a total pain in the ass, and in some cases, like Bioshock, the worst part of the game.
***Check back every Wednesday for more editions of The Barrell Roll.***
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