Actors who should play Video Game Characters
The Prince of Persia movie has now become the highest grossing video game movie of all-time. However, the movie was by no means perfect. My biggest problem with the movie was that it was basically a live-action version of Disney’s Aladdin, with a very unpersian Jake Gyllenhaal as the Prince of Persia. Outside of the flawless casting of John Leguizamo as Luigi in that masterpiece known as the Super Mario Bros movie, picking out the right actors for video game movies seems like an impossible for today’s studios for some reason. It can’t be that hard, right? Let’s give it a shot.
Scarlett Johansson as Samus Aran (Metroid)
A Metroid movie was supposed to be in production a forever ago with John Woo signed on to direct. It not getting off the ground confuses me greatly, because it’s one of the few video game franchises that I think could actually make a great movie. Take Aliens’ atmosphere, Iron Man’s action, throw in a big name lead actress, and you’ve got a potential blockbuster on your hands.
Johansson likes to be strong female characters, and there’s no better role model than the bounty hunter who shocked the boys with her gender at the end of her game. Scarlett Jo has somehow unlocked the secret to being both ridiculously sexy and convincingly badass as an actress on screen simultaneously, making her tailor made to don the suit.
Honorable Mention: Naomi Watts
Zac Efron as Link (The Legend of Zelda)
A Legend of Zelda movie should not be made. Ever. Everything about Zelda is made for the video game format and it just won’t work on film. You’d have about the same odds of bringing Tetris to screen faithfully.
But if you just had to make a Zelda movie, Zac Efron needs to play Link. I’ve never seen Zac Efron in anything, but I do know he’s comfortable with his sexuality (High School Musical) and looks like an elf. If Johnny Depp and John Travolta weren’t so old they’d fit this criteria as well. Look at the kid; I’ve never seen a more Hyrulian looking motherfucker in my life. As a bonus, you could cast girlfriend Vanessa Hudgens as Navi. Her high pitched voice and tagging along experience is invaluable to the role and could be Oscar worthy.
But seriously, don’t make a Zelda movie.
Honorable Mention: None. Don’t make a Zelda movie.
Dominic Purcell as Kratos (God of War)
Movies like 300, Clash of the Titans, and Gladiator have taught us that it’s not hard to play Greek and Roman warriors. As long as you look the part and can yell in a slight English accent, then you’re golden. Awhile back many were calling for Blood Diamond’s Djimon Hounsou to play Kratos in a God of War movie. Digimon is my boy and one of the best actors out there, but that negro would require more babypowder than I’m sure the budget calls for in order to really look like Kratos.
Dominic Purcell is the most “Kratoish” actor out there. There are no Golden Globes to be won off a movie from a game where you chop of Minotaur heads. Purcell looks angry at the world all the time. Not sure how he looks with a loincloth though.
Honorable Mention: Djimon Hounsou with enough babypowder to keep an elephant’s ass content.
Gary Oldman as Gordon Freeman (Half-Life)
This one was by far the hardest for me to decide on, because there’s many an actor who could play a good Gordon Freeman. Hugh Laurie came to mind immediately based on appearance. But Gary Oldman gets the nod because he is a fucking chameleon, able to pull off a wide range of roles with ease. Oldman has played a runaway wizard, Dracula, Commissioner Gordon, the devil, Tiny Tim, and a pedophile. Pick your favorite. The guy can do absolutely anything and he looks like the G-Man to boot. It was meant to be.
Honorable mention: Edward Norton
Barbara Streisand as Birdo (Super Mario Bros 2)
But that was a given.
Honorable Mention: Cher
*Remember the time: Jaleel’s workin day and night to bring you the off the wall Combo Breaker every Friday. It would be dangerous to miss out this time around. You’ve got to be there.***
About the Author
Jaleel is an editor on The DamnLag and author of "Combo Breaker". A video game journalist since 2004, he's had to churn out every cliche article imaginable. Combo Breaker is his initiative to inject real, investigative journalism into the industry. Just don't ever tell him he's wrong (he probably wouldn't believe you anyway).
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