10 Reasons To Love (and Hate) Square-Enix
Ah, Square-Enix. Mother of Final Fantasy, father of Dragon Quest. I have something of a bipolar relationship with Squenix. I love the hell out of them, but much like other people I care about, they sometimes do things that just piss me right off. I’m sure most of you can relate. It’s quite the rub, so I thought I’d touch on some hot buttons. Talking about Squenix I mean, you pervs.
Love: Their Gorgeous Worlds
I’m going to go ahead and start with what I think is one of Square’s strong points: their game universes. I feel they are incredibly skilled at crafting a game world complete with its own rules, locales, and inhabitants. Different areas typically have their own colorful histories while sharing architectural styles and monsters that make sense within their locales (as much as monsters make any sense at all, of course). Graphically speaking, we all know Square has no problem pushing a system to its limits to get an amazingly beautiful setting out of it.
Hate: Beltssssssssssssss
Then there’s the character designs. I’m looking at you, Nomura. I can understand multiple belts if maybe they served a purpose, but they never do. How many goddamned zippers did Donald Duck really need? And as much as I love Lulu: that dress. Six million belts isn’t creative design, it’s creative masturbation. XII’s ladyboy Vaan wasn’t particularly inspired either; this is coming from someone who knows ladyboys personally.
Love: The Great Experiences
Squenix is also great at putting together a strong series, and each entry in the Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, and Dragon Quest series’ shines in its own way. These games are million-sellers, and for a good reason. They don’t slap these things together like a hobo’s cardboard shelter. Hell, new Dragon Quest games typically break records with regularity on the days they’re released.
Hate: The Lack of New Properties
On the other hand, Square has very little other properties to rely on other than their main franchises. Even their fighting game were just gangs of Final Fantasy characters beating the crap out of each other. It was nice for fan service, but doesn’t change the fact that they could have made an original fighting game with new characters and didn’t.
Love: Their Toys’ Potential
I will give them this much: very few critters and characters aren’t “toyetic”. Damn near everything would make an awesome toy, or action figure, or collectible. Hell, I have figures from at least three Final Fantasy games. Part of the appeal of video games, I guess, is that they’re a way to let you play with toys you don’t have to put away. I don’t just mean the characters, either. Some of their accessories have been fairly popular merch items. I consider a few hundred bucks for a replica gunblade fairly successful atleast, at any rate.
Hate: The Fanboys
Them there’s the obnoxious fan base. You know them. The ones screaming all across the internet about how they need a remake of FF VII, or the counter-screamers thinking VIII deserves it more. Or the people who argue which villain is better until one side is unconscious. Or the cosplayers. Dear lord, don’t make me keep talking about the cosplayers. Even the fan fiction (what little I’ve read) makes me cringe in fear, and a little more in pity.
Love: The Translations
Okay, so other than a few bumps (FFIV’s “you spoony bard”, FFVII’s “this guy are sick”, etc.), Square generally does a good job choosing localization teams to translate their games. I can think of worse offenders: the first Devil May Cry and Rygar for the PS2 come to mind. The Sqaure dialog’ss coherent, the characterizations sharp, and the stories engaging, if sometimes flawed.
Hate: Terrible Voice Acting
Making the jump from no voices into voice acting…that didn’t go well. I could point to the awkward laughing scene in Final Fantasy X, but that would be way too easy. I’m not knocking John DiMaggio’s work, either, that would be sacrilege. But to me, the majority of FFX’s voice performances felt incredibly forced and maybe a little robotic. And when it wasn’t, the editing made it seem choppy and short. The problems were less audible in X-2, but not by much.
Love: Willingness to Change for Fans
Sometimes though, trying to mix things up to make the fans happy can backfire. Horribly. Going from Materia slots to the incredibly broken Draw system in the jump from VII to VIII comes to mind. As does streamlining XIII to the point that towns and cities were bumped out of existence in favor of a series of very pretty tubes.
And let’s not forget the overabundance of FFVII related games that only serve to aggravate the aforementioned FFVII fanboys. Even the attempt to link X and VII (in X-2, you gotta be looking for it) was pathetic.
So there you have it, five in the plus column, and five in the minus column. As you can see, I have just as many reasons to be cranky with Squre-Enix as I do to continue playing their games. I love and hate them, and yhose are just some of my reasons for doing both. Hell, you can even choose one side and run with it. It’s alright. I don’t mind.
***For the most fabulous gaming column on the net, come back every Sunday for Diva Down.***
About the Author
Paul Cross
Paul graduated high school playing video games, got bored with college playing video games, and then was hopelessly sucked into retail, where he’s been trapped ever since, still playing video games. Now he writes about them, and it would best if you got out of his way.
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